“I didn’t want to come here. UF was my last choice.” If you know me at all you have probably heard me say this a countless number of times. I wanted to attend a private Christian university far from home, not a huge public institution an hour and a half away- and that is your spark note version of this story.
In the spring of senior year I decided I would not be attending Baylor University. This was hard on me emotionally and spiritually. I made friends. I visited Texas multiple times. I spent my spring break with the cool chick I had decided to room with (shoutout to Calley). I had it all planned and life seemed to be going great. But amidst the greatness, the Lord kept giving me a lot of signs that maybe Baylor just wasn’t for me. I turned to God and began praying furiously for an answer. I was praying for guidance and an answer to where I would be attending college and God continued saying to me through multiple instances, “Kelsey, my way, not yours.” I won’t bore you with the backstory too much, but if you’re interested check this blog out from last year.
During this time of decision making I prayed over a few specific verses over and over again in Job:
But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.
I have not departed from the commands of his lips;
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.
Job 23: 10-12
Job’s story is a story of suffering. He lost all of his possessions, his kids, and his health. Job didn’t understand why God was allowing all of this suffering in his life. Job’s friends told him that his suffering was a direct result of sin. Thankfully, by the grace of God, this isn’t true or I would be in a constant state of suffering as a result of my disobedience. A man named Elihu heard these false statements from Job’s friend and told Job that God was using suffering to humble him.
Although our suffering may not be as extreme as Job’s we too ask God how He could let His children suffer. But we cannot and will not ever truly understand why He allows each instance of suffering in our lives. We are called to be faithful to Him in our suffering. Even in our most difficult struggles we must remain firmly committed to Him for He knows the plan (Jeremiah 29:11). For Job this looked like being stripped of everything of this world to learn that God was enough for his future. We are called to love God regardless of whether He allows suffering or blessing to come to us.
During my suffering I prayed for His guidance, but also prayed for a God honoring community at UF (the huge public university I decided to attend). Tonight the prayer I consistently made during my time of suffering was so clearly answered.
As I sat in Bible study discussing prayer, my friend turned to Job 23, to the exact verses above that I had prayed over my life an entire year ago. I flipped the pages of my Bible and there in Job 23 was the letter from Baylor regarding my withdrawal. I had kept this letter in my Bible to remind me of His sovereignty over my life. But tonight while I sat in my sorority with girls who were not only my sisters by the letters I wear, but who are my sisters in Christ, I sat amazed by the faithfulness of the Lord. From now on this letter stays in the pages of my Bible as a reminder of an answered prayer and the faithfulness of my Father. I prayed for this community for a year and tonight He showed me that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I share this story to encourage you to not lose hope when you feel your prayers aren’t being answered in times of suffering. God simply tells us to ask and we shall receive (Matthew 7:7-8).
She Reads Truth refers to prayer as this:
“But prayer is not just the act of asking and receiving; it is the act of being. It is the act of knowing. It is the act of coming near to God with integrity—with a heart that is whole and undivided in its attentiveness to Him. It is knowing and believing that He is near and He hears us, that He is always faithful in His love for us, even when we don’t feel it (Psalm 25:6).”
Draw near to your faithful Father who has the ability to answer prayers.
The most amazing best friend and supporter ever.
So much love and thankfulness for this community.
Committed to bloom 